hey.
need a place to take a break from TOK and rationalize my thoughts.
i've been doing my best to bounce back up from rock bottom. its been successful thus far, though sometimes i find myself going back to old habits. this whole time has been such a humbling experience but i feel more fulfilled than i ever was.
Temptation has never been more real to me than right now. just a while ago i've been wanting to extend my nap and switch on the tv, even though i knew that i've got work undone. I know theres still a long way to go before i'm able to be God's man, but right now, more than ever, i need to take it one step at a time. Reading a book called "God's man, every man", find it rather helpful in understanding how life's temptations can lead a man into the wrong path through testimonies from the writers. my prayer now is that i'm able to let God fill my life.
Trying not to let her plague my thoughts anymore (though i must say this has been hard). I realise that my memory of her has been so skewed in my thinking and rethinking of her. As my bro says "life's actually really simple, we just love to complicate things". I'm glad that some of the younger ones in lifegroup understand the implications of succumbing to temptation and going into a relationship at such an early stage of your life. one of them just told me about how she believes that drawing strength from God and keeping your priorities straight is most important now. At this point in life, we certainly have to understand the difference between what is favourable in God's eyes and what thoughts are perpetuated by Satan.
I'm glad that we've got new additions to the lifegroup. Can sense that some of them are going through struggles of their own. Hope that they'll be able to see that i'm not any different from them and can confide in me as someone who is in no position to judge. Trying my best to equip myself with God's word, no matter what thats the most important thing right now.
Ivan's party was enjoyable. felt good being the youngest amongst the 19 and 20 year olds. was talking to chunky and his friends, all of whom were from RJ. haha. guess i was the odd one out heh. all in all it went rather well, and there were less awkward moments than i had expected considering that i was going there knowing that i knew noone. oh and i'm intrigued by the extremely long name for the rice at the buffet, guess i'm not really much of a fine diner heh.
School tomorrow. i've got to do TOK presentation, world lit essays, physics prac and maths by today. Hope that i'll be able to draw strength from Him and endure this race.
The prize will come in heaven.
"back to work" says jon
